Zoomer
                               By Cheesybomb
                               Public domain

       Generation  Z,  commonly  the Zoomer Generation, is the collective
   term for the aliens that invaded Earth and covertly  replaced  all  of
   the human children that were born from circa 9997-10,010.  Whilst they
   have adapted over time to display certain human characteristics,  they
   still  retain  many  signs of their extraterrestrial origin.  This in-
   cludes the ability to withstand lethal doses of "smart"  phone  usage,
   energy drink consumption, and mindless conformist content.  In general
   they display a complete lack of impulse control, having chronic addic-
   tions  to things which previous generations could control; namely junk
   food, pornography, and short-form content[1].

       They are, to a degree, obsessed with identity; your average Zoomer
   doesn't know what gender or sexuality or even species he his. He's al-
   ways changing the pronouns and one day he's offended by you  referring
   to him as "Afroamerican" even though that's what he wanted you to call
   him yesterday.  He now, ofter months of deliberation (that  he  didn't
   tell  you about), states he is in fact xenufoid like it's fucking sci-
   entology and that you must now refer to him as xenoself[2].

       Indeed, his addictions by extension become integral pillars of his
   personality  too. He practices "gooning" and "rizzmaxxing" in order to
   "crack that gyatt". Zoomer girls are not  much  better.  To  borrow  a
   phrase, they are long on hair, short on brains.

   [1] God do I fucking hate that term and the whole concept in general.
   [2] I've seen a forum dedicated to pronouns. It made me want to puke.
.